It was a packed house on that Saturday April night at the Granada Theater. I was attending Tay Money’s birthday show, Tay Day, with camera in hand as usual. The Granada contained a vast sea of young adult women of all different shapes, sizes, races and ethnicities with a few males lurking in the back like creepy weirdos. The level of energy was insane, as if they were there to see Beyonce suddenly appear on stage and lose their marbles. As the night grew older, the female energy blew the lid of the venue when Tay Money appeared on stage. It was marvelous to say the least. Each performer did a fantastic job keeping the crowd lit the entire night. As it was getting closer to Tay’s actual performance time, the stage quickly filled with some of Dallas’ finest artists and associates. Out from left field, a woman with what I perceived to have “exotic” facial features appeared and grabbed the mic. I was able to tell immediately that she was no stranger to being in front of a large group of people. She began to tell jokes on stage..at that time I assume I wasn’t paying attention to Tay introducing her on stage but I was a little confused and a bit curious about her. I found myself chuckling here and there during her performance. Out of nowhere, she executed a headstand that you could tell she practiced for many times before. I’m not sure about you but I rarely see anyone pull off a head stand in the middle of her act.When Tay finally performed, it turned into an all girl, twerkathon riot. It was crazy, it was wild, it was fun. At one point, the comedian jumped into the crowd and surfed in heels. From my point of view, she disappeared into the wave of concert goers.

Months later, at a Fubupalooza event where Chingy did his year 2000 performance, the comedian was there in a marijuana leaf costume with two liquor bottles in hand. According to my observations, I concluded that she’s an a1 party animal. I shot a few photos of her, alongside with photos of the event. The very next day, after editing and uploading some photos, I went on Instagram to post. I was struggling to figure out what her name was. In the same moment I had the perfect idea to go on Twitter and look on the Tay Day flyer. Sure enough I found what I was looking for: Elmira Alavi.

After getting a hold of her via Instagram and after a family vacation to the mountains, we agreed to meet up at a local Arlington dog park. Accompanying her was her cousin Pardiss Sabiat and her two chihuahuas. When she arrived, she hopped out of the car and headed towards the trunk of her car. She appeared to grabbing something rather large so I walked towards the trunk to help. To my surprise was a number of canvases that had a variety of paintings on them. My favorite ones were that picture of her dogs and a triangular canvas with Illuminati inspired painting. It was nice to see Elmira having a casual fun time with her dogs as the sun was beaming on our heads. What I like about her is that she possesses a very fun and contagious energy about herself and gives good hugs. People who give good hugs are people you got to have around in my opinion. After a little photo shoot and more playtime with the chihuahuas, we decided grab something to eat at the nearest Chipotle and start our conversation from there.

An Iran native with no siblings but a lot of cousins, Elmira moved to Texas at the tender age of 4 because her father landed an opportunity with a car company and to lead better a life. “I feel like if I didn’t move, I feel like would’ve been more reserved and conservative” she says. She explains to me that the women of Iran are very limited and the Iran is basically like Dallas but with a lot more traffic. Elmira parent’s seem to be polar opposites that ended up attracting each other. Her dad’s side is filled with doctors, lawyers, etc and are also very strict. Her mom side is more liberal than that and contains more creatives: musicians, dancers, etc. It seemed obvious to me the comedian got most of her personality from her mom, as she expresses that that her mom has always been a strong woman.

Growing up on United States soil and trying to fit into American society was tough for the Iranian comedian. A fluent speaker in Farsi, Elmira was compared to Indians or Arabians quite often, along with the occasional Kim K comparison. She was often bullied for the size of her nose and her unibrow. In her words, she looked like Allen Iverson. From a young age, she was always a fan of East Coast rap and always supported female artist. She also had a love for 2000’s era of music of all genres of music as well. All in all, she’s a fan of lyrical content that possess a deeper meaning. Elmira attended Martin High School in Arlington, along with Texas rapper Tay-K. They were classmates in Remedial Math and Elmira says that she was “lowkey scared of Tay-k”.

After high school, Elmira was determined to lead a different path unlike her peers. She was more interested in acquiring and maintaining the “boss life” and the mentality that precedes it. Despite her efforts, she attended Tarrant County Community College the transferred to UTA with a degree in Communications, to keep you parents happy. Eventually, Elmira dropped out with only a few credits left. She compares her decision to drop out to the song “Views” by Drake, where he mentions that he dropped out of school with six credits left and he promised his mother that they’ll be successful as long as she was patient.

Around 2013, while Elmira was still in high school, she started her career in comedian. One of her first shows was at the Hyenas in Dallas. She stood in line for hours, waiting to perform. Finally, after the announcer pronounced her name wrong, she hit the stage with her opening act: her imitation of an Indian character. The room was dead quiet and no one laughed but it didn’t break her spirit, she expected a dead crowd. Time and time after that she waited in the same long line waiting to perform, it was perseverance that helped her continue to push forward.

“I never sucked anyone’s dick to get where I am but I could have. I suck dick for free because I want to! Don’t forget about the balls!”

One of her favorite performances was when she brought her one of her chihuahuas,Tiny, with her. She had to sneak her pup in by making a fake service dog certificate. Her biggest fan and her strongest supporter is her mom, although her mother doesn’t find Elmira funny, at all.

“I rather have money than fame, I can’t steal from Walmart in peace if I’m famous”

I was compelled to ask her what inspired her headstand routine and this is what she told me, “Dj Esco, Future, Magic City”, and that was it ladies and gentlemen. Elmira told me that was all I needed to know. There was a video that she viewed that contained strippers doing a head stand. Intrigued, Elmira began to practice headstand. She sat in her room one day with all the lights off, no music and attempted the head stand. Blood started rushing to her and she eventually fell over, she didn’t pass out, she just fell over. From practicing it over and over for a period of time, she perfected the art of the headstand. Elmira wanted to stand out from other female comedians and executing the head stand at the end of her sets was the perfect gimmick. As she started executing her headstands, she noticed that crowds that contained more ethnicity enjoy her sets a lot more than crowds that lack ethnicity. Her famous head stands have gotten her a lot of attention, and apparently an invitation to a cookout. One of her most embarrassing headstands was on stage during Tay Day. Her pants ripped during her head stand in front of hundreds of people exposing her hot pink panties. Fortunately, she gained a lot of attention since then, people hitting her up for collaborations often.

“When I die, I want them to bury me upside down, I want them to put me in a head stand “

Before the money, the fame, the rap game and the headstand, Elmira was always close with Dallas female artist Tay Money. Their friendship started when she met Tay through Elmira’s other cousin Goldiss. From there, they became a trio, like The 3 Musketeers or the 3 Stooges. Their friendship has always been authentic as they show nothing but love and support for each other and their endeavors.

Currently Elmira is fighting an case that is active so I will not get into further detail. What is will say is when everything caught up to her, she was contacted by a bounty hunter (I could be wrong but I figured it wasn’t a private investigator so bounty hunter was my next guess) in the middle of class. After several calls, she finally picked up and agreed to meet with them for questioning and never went. Instead, she left school and called Pardiss crying. The law enforcement eventually got a hold Elmira’s mom and arrive at the house lookin for Elmira. In a panic, her mom called her while she was drunk at Tay Money’s house. At that point, Elmira had to come clean to her parents. Afterwards, she gave Pardiss $1700 for stash away for bail money. From there she dropped out and began stripping to maintain lawyer and court fee. On the positive note, she received a ton from respect from her parents for handling business on her own with no help.

Besides that, Elmira is a busy women; from selling her art, consistently doing comedy shows and making special guest appearances at various shows and events. In my opinion, she is a star in the making. Her personality is golden, her heart is pure and she’s sweeter than a bucket of local honey. Elmira is such a lovable character and a blast to be around. When the day comes when she blows up, I’ll look back at this article and remember the hilarious hour I spent with her at Chipotle. Much love to you Elmira, from yours truly, Chris Thomas