River Elliott
For a little over a year and a half, almost two years, the LGBTQ community has been one of the targeted communities under the Trump Administration. Since Trump’s inauguration on January 20, 2017, a handful on U.S. Departments including the Department of Justice, Education and Health and Human services have either dismissed, reviewed or withdrew policies concerning the protection of the LGBTQ community, specifically the transgender population. In more recent news, along with the administration being involved in court battles over its attempt to ban transgender people from the military, the Department of Health and Human Services is considering an interpretation of Title IX, the civil rights law that bans sex discrimination in schools that “ would define sex as male or female, unchangeable and determined by the genitals a person was born with” This proposal would end up eradicating the protection for transgender people, which is devastating for the community. Despite the chaos surrounding the current state of civil and equal rights, I had the opportunity to share the heart warming story of River Elliott, the 24 year old transgender woman transitioning from male to female
Born in Ontario, Canada until she was 9 years old, River moved to Colorado for 2 years before eventually moving to Texas. Her mother and biological father separated when she was very young, but not long after did her mother met her stepfather and have been together for at least 21 years. River also has a step brother and a step sister but doesn’t see very often since they lived with their biological mother. She was fortunate to have very supportive parents. Every decision made or endeavor she wanted to pursue, her parents were ready to be her support system. From being a marine to going to college to her musical efforts, her mother and stepfather were always by her side. Elliott is apart of two bands; she plays bass for Unity Tx and performs vocals for Ballista. Prior to joining Unity Tx, she was one of their biggest fans. Shortly after attending their shows, she joined the band. Not long after, she decided to start her own band, Ballista, as it helped to express herself in a way that she wasn’t able to in Unity TX. Being apart of those bands played a role in helping her out of a dark place, thus making 2018 one of the best years she ever had
The decision to transition from male to female was made after Ballista finished their week run in April, but what lead up to the decision started during her early childhood, “ as far back as I can remember, anytime that I would see a girl that I thought was cute, there would be a sense of jealousy that came along with it” she explains. River mentions 4 occasions that she was able to pinpoint in her life that brought her to make this life changing decision
In the 4th grade, her parents were getting off of work late so she was left on the playground, awaiting their arrival. Out of boredom, River snuck in the gymnasium where she found a skirt on the floor that probably fallen out of a female student’s gym bag (River attended a private school that had uniforms as the dress code). With curiosity on her mind and the mysterious skirt in hand, she went into the locker room to try it on, to see how it would look on her. That was the first realization but at the time, it wasn’t taken serious
Fast forward to high school when puberty made an appearance and hormones were raging. The jealousy that River felt towards other girls became stronger than before. Having no idea what it meant or how to feel about it, she repressed her feelings. Any thought that seemed to be feminine she blocked it out, along with the stress of being in high school
In 2015, those thoughts started to occur more often but instead of repressing them, she decided to start an introspective conversation with herself. By the end of the conversation, she decided it identify herself as “ gender fluid”. She felt as if she didn’t necessarily fit as either a girl or boy, she was just herself. Weight was lifted off her shoulders and she started to embrace her newfound identity. Her friends started doing her makeup and began to use female terms of endearment to acknowledge her. This made River feel very happy and more comfortable with herself
At the beginning of 2018, close friends of River noticed how happy it made her feel to be acknowledge as a female and as a result they started using exclusive female terms such as she/her pronouns and referring to her as a girl. It was then that it motivated River to have another conversation with herself. In conclusion, looking back at her life, she came to the realization that she has always been a girl.
She gave herself a time frame to be sure about transitioning and wanted to make sure she was treating the transgender community with respect and not make the decision with doubt in her mind. A few weeks went by and she picked up the phone to call her mom to discuss her realization that she is a transgender woman. The support that she received from her parents, peers and bandmates were extremely positive. Her girlfriend knew about her decision for a long time and has helped her learn how to love herself, which pushed River to figure out what she wanted to do. The music scene and the bands that she is apart of were incredibly open and loving to her. Even her peers and fans alike sent very supportive and encouraging messages to her via social media. She faces some challenges in her daily life from time to time. For the most part, including internet assholes and people on the street who intend to be rude and hurtful, her discomfort comes in when strangers or associates she isn’t close with refer to her as a male or call her by her old name. River is pretty good at avoiding situations with people who aren’t at least open and understanding or supportive.
Currently, she is doing hormone treatments, which is a dose of estrogen and a dose of testosterone blockers every morning and night. The treatment stimulates the redistribution of body fat, mainly towards the breast and the glutes. Eventually, she would undergo cosmetic surgeries, including facial reconstruction, sex change and a possible breast augmentation. The most important lesson she learned was a lesson we should never forget, “ Truly knowing who you are and being okay with that is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself mentally and emotionally.”
